Tag: death

Thinking about life and death

Published on by VanessaLeave a comment

One of my colleagues lost a very young family member this week. A young woman who just had started studying at University. I can’t even imagine the pain and sorrow this has caused for my colleague and her family. Some of my first thoughts ware the usual in this kind of situations ‘so young, with her whole life ahead of her, why does this happen to young, kind people?’, and so on.

Let’s face it, death is the only thing in life that we are guaranteed will some day reach us. Death is part of life. We don’t know when we are going to die and we don’t know how we are going to die, but we know we are going to die. It seems random who dies when. Some die young, some escape death in incredible situations, others die in the must absurd situations.

When we are faced with death, we immediately think about life. We start reflecting on what kind of life is worth living.

There are, of course, different answers to this question, and we often have a tendency to think that we are missing out on something and that in order to have a meaningful life, we should be doing ‘something else’, ‘something bigger’, ‘something more spectacular’. But what if, living a meaningful life means living exactly the life we are living, only intentionally, with awareness? Mindfully.

My idea of a meaningful life might not be your idea of a meaningful life, but just make sure that you don’t go chasing impossibles because you feel you don’t live enough. Maybe, the secret is in the beauty of now and the feeling and attitude we bring to it. I keep going back to the same over and over again: clarity, calmness, love and trust. Don’t wait until you can do something ‘special’ to believe that you are leaving a meaningful life. Start with yourself, get to know yourself, be kind and patient and make time every day to nurture yourself. Sleep enough, eat well, rest, and know your strengths and weaknesses so do your part the best you can. Then, look around and notice those around you. Show them that you notice them. Whether it is your family, your colleagues or just a random person.

Be grateful for the small and the big things, for the good and exciting and for the challenging. Gratitude expands our hearts and allows us to develop humbleness. Humbleness teaches us to appreciate simplicity, and this way, life feels meaningful no matter where we are and what we are doing.

About cats, cars and life in general

Published on by VanessaLeave a comment

It all started today when while I was waiting for my kids outside school, I saw a message in my neighbourhood’s common message platform that a cat had been run over on one of the streets near our place. My heart stopped as our young cat has just started to dare to be outside during the day while we’re at work and school.

I scrolled down to read the comments to see if more detail was given, and I was relieved to find out that the description of the cat didn’t match our cat, followed by a feeling of remorse for feeling so relieved. I felt sad for the cat and its owners, and I thought about how this kind of painful things seem to often happen to others, until one day, they happen to ourselves.

This incident brought me back to thoughts I’ve been having lately. Death is the most certain thing about life, and it fascinates me how much we try to avoid it until one day, we can’t avoid it anymore. We are so afraid of it, yet, it is the only thing we are guaranteed will happen to each and everyone of us one day.

I personally try not to think much about it, especially when it comes to my loved ones, and I must confess that I just pray that the day it hits me, I will have the strength to see through the darkness of pain and loss.

The good thing about thinking about death is that it really helps us see things with perspective. It reminds us that everything in this world is in constant change, and that we should strive to live a meaningful life, we should strive to see the beauty in every moment and be ready to let go and adapt and adjust and accept change.

With these thoughts in my mind and after eating dinner, I got a backpack ready with my journal, a bottle of water, some extra clothes and my yoga mat. My son has swimming lessons on Fridays, and I had planned to go for a walk in the woods while he swims, find a nice hidden spot, do some yoga asana, and some journaling. I might even lie down and read my book if the weather permits, I thought.

We were half way to the swimming lessons when my car started to complain. It started making weird noises and a warning light symbol started blinking on the dashboard. We were in the middle of the highway, and the car seemed to be doing ok, so we just continued, but right before arriving, my car decided it was enough. We had to stop.

My son walked the last few hundred meters to the swimming pool while I tried to figure out what to do. First of all, it was learning experience to know where to call for help, to look into the car’s manual to understand what this light symbol means, and to google it while I waited for the tow truck.

Then the thoughts started to fly: what are we going to do? It is Friday, we will have to wait until Monday to get the mechanic to see it. We have so many things to do during the weekend! What if it is super expensive to repair? and so on.

The worries didn’t last long, because on a Friday evening, everything seems so easy. Nowhere to hurry to, nothing to have ready for the next morning. My son could get a lift home from one of his swimming peers. I can sit and wait for the tow truck in the car. Luckily, it is not Winter, so we can bike, walk and use public transportation until the car gets fixed… or not.

We’ve been talking for a while about how we could use public transportation more often. Especially the kids and I to get to school. We’ve been also playing with the idea of not owning a car anymore. Or getting a little electric car and use it only for long distances that are too difficult to cover in a practical way in everyday life inside the city. But as with most changes, when you’re in your comfort zone, you don’t really run to make them.

So, what is my point with this text? Not much, only that we can put most of life’s issues in perspective. That what my dad used to say is so true “Everything has a solution except for death”. That it is now we get to live our lives as they are because one day we are here and the next one we are not.